Cranky kids are the best teachers.

You know it's been one of those weeks when your 3 yr old yogini lays down and uses her yoga mat as a blanket through an entire kids yoga class.  Seriously, this is the chick that is normally bounding around the room like a frog, soaring like an eagle, barking like a dog and howling in her upward facing dog.  But today?  She rested.  She knew what she needed.

I'll say now, what I say whenever one of my kids is loosing control in public.  "It's tough to be *insert age of child.*"  

It's the truth, isn't it?  Wouldn't it be hard to not have the impulse control to do what you know you should be doing?  To have SUCH STRONG EMOTIONS ABOUT EVERY THING.  I try not to say "it's no big deal!" (actually what i say is "It's no biggie smalls" because I am strange like that)  to my 3 yr old because every time I slip and say it she says, "(((YEAH))) biggie smalls!!"  And she is not lying.... whatever is making her loose control really is a huge deal to her.  And who am I to tell her that it is insignificant, right?  So I *try* (yet often fail) to tell her that it's okay to be upset/sad/mad/frustrated (but that it is not okay to hit me, scream in my face, or otherwise use her anger or frustration to hurt others or destroy things) and we aaaaaalways come back to the breath.  We take a nice break from whatever is frustrating or enraging and we take our 3 nice deep breaths.  And usually we are good to go after that.

Ever notice how short your breath gets when you are stressed or frustrated or angry?  Or giving birth maybe?  I remember my breath seriously being THE most important thing in my last birth.  It was my anchor and it carried me through.  I used it to push my baby out.  I used it to calm myself.  I focused on it and everything else just melted away.  So I teach my kids how to take deep breaths when they need to calm themselves down.  My 3 year old will FIGHT it if she's really really mad.

"NO.  I will ((((NOT))))) take 3 nice deep breafises"

Ahhhh.  But when she finally decides she is ready to, it's a thing of beauty to watch her whole body change.  From tense to calm.  From angry to a bit more serene.  Deep breaths are such a beautiful thing.  Such a great way to stay present, don't you think?

Which brings me to the title of this post.  My kids are such great teachers.  It's like I am on this 18 plus year intensive training or something.  I learn so much from them.  And so much about myself.  Just like in marriage, it's like a freaking full length mirror into my inner struggles and weaknesses.  For real.  I notice how I react to stress, sleep deprivation, grumpy children.... and the serene and calm woman I want to be doesn't always come out in those moments!  We've had many moments of grumpiness today.... the kids have both been up way past their bedtimes the last few nights.... so today I learn to return to my breath.  To take some time if I need to.  I watched my 3 yr old loose complete control of herself, flopping around like a fish (don't you sometimes feel like doing that when you're upset?  I would injure myself for sure.) and just screaming.  Then (with a bit of reminding from me) I watched her take herself someplace away from her brother and I and take her deep breaths and recover from it.  She used the tools she's been given in yoga!  I love seeing her do this, and it reminds me to do the same in moments of stress.  I hope this is a tool that she will continue to use throughout her life.      

And, of course, there is always chocolate.  That works too.