Slow down, life.

Lately, I feel like my life is on fast forward.  My baby is now walking.  My first baby is now in preschool two mornings a week.  And dance class.  And swimming lessons.  Oiy.  It just seems like I woke up and all of a sudden I'm a mom, a wife, a yoga instructor.... all these things I've always wanted to do, but wait!  When did I become an ADULT?!  I feel like just yesterday I was this awkward teenager who spent too much time making her hair stick straight every morning, hadn't a clue how to put makeup on (still don't) and didn't exactly know how to talk to boys without coming off as overly flirtatious and giving them the wrong impression.  Now I am halfway through my 20's and a mom of 2.  

I realize I did start my mama journey sooner than some.  What can I say?  I met the right guy when I was a senior in high school, got married the summer after my freshman year of college, and got baby fever before I had even graduated with my Bachelor's degree.  But it all worked out.  It took me a while to conceive my first child, I graduated from college, and I had the chance to sort of 'grow up' with my husband, so it's been wonderful thus far.  But WHOA.  Slow down, life!!

I say in my prenatal yoga classes often that we live so much of our lives from the neck up- thinking, planning, worrying, analyzing.... but in yoga and birth we are freed to just let go and live from the neck down.... intuitively, in the moment.  Because you can't spend your birth looking forward to the next contraction (or pressure wave, if you're a hypnobabies mama like me).  I learned in my births that you really have to just BE in the moment, with the sensations and pressure.  And I think this parallels life so perfectly.  While it's not a bad thing to dream and look forward with anticipation to the next step, we have to make a conscious effort to really live in the moment.  To bloom where we are planted.  I like to think that every situation I am put in I am put in for a purpose and if I choose, I can not just bloom, but bloom WILDLY and BEAUTIFULLY there.  But it's always a choice.  I can choose to just say "oh it'll be better when.... we have more money/own a house/aren't in school/kids are older/etc" or I can choose to say "these are the best years of my life (or maybe even, well this kinda sucks BUT...), I am going to fully enjoy where I am at NOW." 

This is something I need to tell myself.  Over and over.... and over.  When my firstborn was little I was always always looking forward to the next developmental milestone.  OH, things will be more fun when she can do talk, walk, put on her socks.  The second time around I took the opposite (but no better) approach.  Oh, things are so easy now, slow down little buddy, don't you start crawling yet, don't you start walking yet.  Leave it to Lindsay to go from one extreme to the other.  My husband is always making funny of me from switching the heat in the car from all the way hot to all the way cold and never putting the dial someplace in the middle.  

But there has to be some happy medium place where I can enjoy my kids, and just my life in general in the current state of affairs.  So, I guess this blog is my never-ending journey there.  Just as in yoga when we loose our focus we come back to our breath, and back into our child's pose.  This blog will be my child's pose, of sorts.  A place to come back and check in, maybe add a silly story or two, because after all... what is life if you can't laugh, especially at yourself.     

I don't know if I'll have any readers, or if this'll just be my own little public but not known about journal. But I am HOPING it's something I can actually keep up, unlike knitting, or scrapbooking, or doing the laundry.  

Have a beautifully present day,

Linz