Essential oils for my heart baby!

Hello!!  We got good news from the doctor that she is growing (1 oz shy of 10lbs a few days ago!) and that surgery will likely now be in NOVEMBER!!  He was originally saying 4 months, so obviously she is doing well if he wants to wait until 6 months old.  We took her off her diuretic and she has been handling it well as far as I  can tell... so one less med!

So, we're of course doing all the standard medical stuff for her heart condition, but someone who usually uses natural remedies at home, I can't not research what would be best to help June be as healthy as she can be for surgery and for healing post-op.

Among other things, we are using essential oils!!  We use Young Living brand.  The essential oils you can buy for cheap at the store are just that... cheap.  While they still smell good, those oils don't have much of the medicinal properties of oils.  So while they are more expensive, it's definitely worth it.  Especially because they last for so long because you only need a few drops each time!

I could do a whole 'bother post on what I do for first aid for my kids, for myself, during pregnancy and birth.... but this post is for my heart baby.

We just started using these oils this week when my shipment came in.

Here is our regime:

Aroma Life:

Aroma Life™ Essential Oil Blend combines the harmonizing effects of ylang ylang with known powerhouses cypress, helichrysum, and marjoram. Pulsing with life, this vibrant blend of essential oils energizes your life force. Aroma Life™ is best applied over heart energy – front and/or back.

Wellness Solutions: Balances cardiovascular, lymphatic, and circulatory systems; reduces stress.

Ingredients:

• Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens)
• Marjoram (Origanum majorana)
• Helichrysum (Helichrysum italicum)
• Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata)
• in a base of organic sesame seed oil.

Applications: For topical use, apply 4 drops on location (heart, abdomen, on the hand under the ring finger and above the elbow or in conjunction with Raindrop Technique) as needed. Diffuse, directly inhale, or add 2-4 drops to bath water. Apply 1-2 drops over heart and long spine from first to fourth thoracic vertebrae (which correspond to the cardiopulmonary nerves). Dilute 1:15 with vegetable oil [I prefer organic oils so that chemicals do not interact with the essential oil and waste energy] or our V-6 Oil Complex for a full body massage.

WHAT WE DO:  Diffuse for 20 mins 2-3 times a day.  I also put a very diluted mix of this and coconut oil on her feet and over her heart a couple of times a day.  This oil does not need to be diluted necessarily, but with such a young baby I personally think it wise.  I probably wouldn't dilute it with my other two but June is sick, so I am extra cautious.  Since oils ARE powerful!  

Gentle Baby™ Essential Oil Blend is a soft, fragrant combination of essential oils designed specifically for mothers and babies. It helps calm emotions during pregnancy and is useful for quieting troubled little ones. It is also soothing to tender skin. Many of the essential oils in this blend are used in elite cosmetics to enhance a youthful appearance.

Wellness: Gentle Baby™ supports the skin, maintaining normal cellular regeneration and helps reduce the appearance of aging. It is particularly soothing to dry, chapped skin and diaper rash. Skin issues improved when using Gentle Baby™ with Rose Ointment over top of it.

Ingredients:

• Rosewood (Aniba rosaeodora)
• Geranium (pelargonium graveolens)
• Palmarosa (Cymbopogon martinii)
• Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
• Roman chamomile (Chamaemelum nobile)
• Ylang ylang (Cananga odorata)
• Lemon (Citrus limon)
• Jasmine (Jasminum officinale)
• Bergamot (Citrus bergamia)
• and Rose (Rosa damascena)

Applications: For aromatic use. Diffuse or apply on mother's abdomen, feet, lower back, face, and neck areas. Dilute with V-6™ Enhanced Vegetable Oil Complexf or full body massage and for applying on baby's skin.

WHAT WE DO:  Baby massage!  I try to give her a massage a few times a week and use coconut oil and Gentle Baby.  I went to a baby massage class and also our cranial sacral therapist gave me some tips.  I diffused this oil when we were in the hospital with her so sick (also when I was giving birth to her!) and my hope is that she will continue to associate thus calming blend with... being calm and relaxed.... so I can diffuse it again when we are in the hospital for open heart surgery to keep her (and me!) calm.  I also use a blend called "peace and calming for this.... I wear it on my chest so that when she is held close to me she smells it and calms.  I will be wearing that during our hospital stay to keep myself calm!!  Another bone I use in this way is a blend called "Jpy."  Just depends on how I'm feeling which of these 3 I use.  I also use Gentle Baby in my homemade diaper wipe solution... never a diaper rash in this house!   But thats a whole different post!

I have many oils that I plan to use after the surgery to help her incision- for healing and to help minimize the appearance of the scar.  Though I hope she is always proud of her scar... remembering always that she's a fierce warrior!!  And also one to help with emotional trauma (I'll be using that one on myself too!!!

Let me know if you want some oils... I get them at wholesale and use at least a few daily.

underwear checks... or lack thereof

Our morning on Sunday consisted of: "Roxie, go put some clothes on for church"
R: "Okay!"
end scene.
R comes down in a dress, I tell her to put on her shoes, and after breakfast we go to church.

Now insert lots of playing, running around, and playing games with the kids downstairs at church.

Then, head to grandma's house for lunch.  After lunch Roxie is being a normal kid and rolling around on the floor with her feet up in the air for some reason (does there REALLY have to be a reason to do this?  Why don't we all roll around more often.  Anyway...).

I look at her and to my amazement, she is not wearing underwear.  So I ask her about it casually.  "Roxie, why aren't you wearing any underwear?"
R:"Because you didn't tell me to put any on"  

Well... okay... didn't realize I had to specify considering this child often puts shorts on under her dresses just so nobody will see her underwear (not sure where she got that... but I have been wearing yoga capris under mind lately for ease of nursing in a dress)

Anyway.... the moral of this story.  It only takes a second to check to see if your child is, in fact, wearing underwear.  So, just do a quick check before you leave the house.  If they're wearing pants, then you can skip the check and use your free second to bust a really cool Michael Jackson-esque dance move.

The End.

Things never to say to a family with a sick kids:

Today in Sunday school we talked about suffering.  My lovely and wise husband said something that we've discussed together in the past.  About how lots of times people (who mean well, don't get me wrong) say things during your suffering to make themselves feel better.  They feel awkward and so they try to put their own theology on the problem.  When June was in the hospital on a ventilator we got so much love and support!  Amazing.  But I did learn what things to NEVER say to someone with a sick or dying child.  My friend, Kristin, posted a fabulous post about this a while back when she lost her daughter to stillbirth and it's stuck with me... and now I've experienced it first hand.  May it help you as it's helped me to simply BE with others amidst their suffering.

Okay, here is my list:

1. "Remember that whatever happens, she was never yours to begin with"

This one hit me hard.  She IS mine, God gave her to me.  Entrusted me to be her mom.  This really was a not helpful thing to say, EVEN if I believed it to be true.  When your child is FIGHTING FOR HER LIFE I want to hear people say they are sending healing prayers, not "whatever happens" prayers.  I don't know if I can adequately express how upset this one made me.  

2. "this is part of God's plan"

Really?  God CHOSE to give my daughter a heart that doesn't work right?  What... to teach me a lesson?  Sounds pretty cruel to me.  Again, EVEN IF I BELIEVED IN THIS THEOLOGY it would NOT be the time or place.  I personally believe that sucky stuff happen in our world.  I believe that God can USE these crappy situations for our growth, for God's purpose, etc.  Glory in the storm.  BUT I don't find it helpful to here that He gave a sickness to my child.  There is a verse somewhere in the Bible that says "Jesus wept."  Why would he weep for suffering he himself had created?

3. "God's plan is perfect"

Yes, it is.  BUT because he gave the world free will... that means suffering must be part of the picture.  Not because he wants it to be and he can work through it for his plan... but I don't think he "waved his magic wand" and said "I'm giving this baby a heart defect."  Maybe he saw it was going to happen and set us up in a way to deal with it and to bring glory to him through it.  I like to think that God comes alongside those who suffer, suffers with them, cries with them, carries them when needed.  And again.... saying this to someone who is maybe praying SO HARD for healing just feels like undermining their deepest desire.  People need hugs, love, prayers, "this sucks" maybe.  They don't need theology during times of despair.

I know there are a lot more things you shouldn't say.  But, I want to focus on what TO say:

1. Nothing.  Silence is just fine.  Maybe a hug.  Even saying something like "there are no words" is great.  Because really... what can you say?  It makes me feel like people, though maybe they've never been there, understand the enormity of the situation.  I like how my husband puts it "be okay to be awkward."  Maybe you feel weird just BEING with someone.  Maybe it would make YOU feel better to say something theological.  But don't say something to justify it in your own mind.  Be willing to just be with someone, even if it feels awkward.  Maybe this one is easier to me, who has been with people going through the intensity of childbirth... I've held them and their space during one of probably the most intense times of their lives (and that doesn't exactly relate because childbirth isn't suffering unless you let it be.... but it is still intense, even if in a beautiful way).

2. "I'm here for you" or "I'm praying for you" or "what do you need?" are great.  Even if I don't need anything, it's nice to know that you'd be willing to bring me Chipotle if I needed it while in the hospital.  Or that you would be willing to watch my kids, clean my house, bring me something.  Or if you can't, that you are with me in spirit and sending love from afar.  Seriously, if I needed absolutely nothing it's still good to know that if I did, you'd be there.  I'm one of those people who HATE asking for help and have a really hard time accepting it from others.  So offer it, don't make me ask.

3. "This sucks" or however you like to phrase it.  This may not always be appropriate, but I'd rather now that you see how hard this is than hear WHY you think it's happening.  When you go through really hard stuff I think it's sometimes helpful to realize that, yeah, I'm not just being dumb.... it really is a hard thing!!  When I'm being neurotic about my sick babies every breath and coloring that seems off it's nice to know that I'm not being ridiculous.... that it's NORMAL to be this way right now.

4. "you are doing a great job."  When I feel as if my world is crashing, the walls crumbling in on me if I am holding it together... let me know!   I wouldn't say this to someone who is seriously a hot mess because I think they'd know it wasn't genuine, but if it feels genuine and you really think someone is rocking it... tell them!  Encourage them!   Of course still give permission for them to be a hot mess if they want to.... sometimes it's good to just LET GO.  But acknowledge the little things accomplished in a genuine and non-annoying and overboard way.  Someone told me how good I looked when we were in the hospital.  With a tiny cold shower every few days, hardly any sleep, crazy emotions, and having JUST given birth... it did feel good (again, it felt genuine.  If you don't really think it, don't lie because people see through false compliments, at least I do!)

 

May this help you relate to others who suffer or are going through something difficult!  Now, DON'T come compliment me just because it says something about it in this post.  Or I'll punch you ;-)  (kidding.... kind of)

complementary therapies

When I found out our daughter had a heart defect that would require open heart surgery, I immediately started researching natural complementary treatment options for my sweet babe.  Obviously I am forever grateful for the advances in medicine which will hopefully allow J2 to grow into a lovely adult and die at a a ripe old age.  I am grateful for the drugs that she needs.  Grateful for open heart surgery.

I am one of those weird people (or more like, awesome people) who believe in the power of alternative therapies.  Of the spiritual.  Of the spiritual energy of the body.  The power of good nutrition.  All that jazz.  So I want to set J2 up for success as much as I can through alternative therapies.  Even if it costs a lot and darn insurance companies haven't realized how awesome it would be to cover these therapies.

So, here are some of the things we are doing.

1. Cranial Sacral Therapy

I got it done a few times during pregnancy by my chiropractor and now I am having J2 get it.  And- wow! I wish I would've had all my kids get it as babies.  She is much less fussy when she's worked on in this way.  Sleeps better.  And I really feel like it helps her overcome the trauma of being in the hospital on a ventilator.  We did it a few times in a row upon coming home from the hospital, and now we're slowing down a bit and then right before and after surgery we'll ramp it up again.   The therapist gave me some stuff I can do at home with her, so that's been really great!

2. Chiropractic care

Okay, so I haven't actually gotten around to this yet, but I am a strong believer in chiropractic care and had it all throughout pregnancy and need to get J2 in SOON for some adjustments.  I've honestly just been too busy with all her other appointments.

3. Traditional Chinese Medicine--- Acupuncture

I found an awesome Acupuncturist group who work specifically on children.  We'll be trying this out before surgery.  I will let you know what i think.  Did you know acupuncture can even flip breech babies?  I obviously know a lot more about this stuff as it relates to pregnancy and birth, but it's pretty powerful stuff so I think it can help send some healing energy to her little heart as well!!

4. Essential Oils

I am a huge essential oil fan.  I use them for everything and use at least a few every day.  I've been researching which oils to use on J2 now, and which ones to use on her prior to and after surgery for emotional care and also to put on her scar.  I diffused a calming oil blend in her room during our hospital stay and that same oil I've been massaging on her frequently and will probably bring it to her for post surgery.  I think it'll be good to have it be one she remembers as calming that reminds her of that special time of massage we have together.  I think diffusing oils in her room is great for ME too.... as a stressed out and worried heart baby mama!!  I use them to try to keep us all from getting sick too... because a virus would NOT be good for a little baby with a sick heart!!

5. Naturopathic medicine

We have our first naturopath appointment in a few weeks.  I will let you know what I think.  I assume since I am breastfeeding they are going to give me supplements for ME to take for her to get through me.  I've been taking stuff like probiotics and drinking some herbal infusions since she was on some pretty heavy meds including antibiotics and I want to rebuild her good gut flora.

6. Baby yoga!

I am a yoga instructor and so I know the huge benefits of yoga, but I never thought I'd love baby yoga so much!!  I wish I could go every day.  It's the one time of the day that I don't feel SO overly stressed with the weight of worry for my sick baby.  I connect with my baby and I connect with other mamas and I get onto my mat and do a few exercises for myself as well.  Deep sigh.  The other day I sat next to another heart mama and her heart baby!! And a NICU nurse at the hospital we were and will be at was across the room from us!  So cool to connect and talk about the stuff we're both going through.  Also, some of the exercises we do on baby are the SAME ones that the cranial sacral therapist recommended I do!!  So it's perfect!  We plan to go at least once a week until she's too old for it.

7.  Healing touch

Healing touch has been PROVEN scientifically to be effective.  They have Reiki and healing touch certified people employed at hospitals even!  We don't have the money to actually go see someone for this, but I've been using my own healing touch on J2.  I have been through an intro training on this and understand the energy of the body and how it all works, so we've been playing with healing touch and I plan to continue and bring this to surgery day and post-op for SURE.  R likes to rub her hands together and then place her hands just above J2s heart and say "sending you ALL the love"  it's really sweet.  I guess she GETS healing touch!  It's fun to see.

8.  Use of others

I don't know why I thought of this 8th, but we've been REALLY utilizing others prayers and sending of love and light to us!!  I hope to get together a prayer/healing circle for J2 right before her surgery.  Maybe have her in the middle of a big circle with everyone sending her prayers and healing light for her to bring with her into her surgery.  The yoga studio I work at did something similar to this during a staff meeting while I was in the hospital with J2 and it was powerful!  So how awesome would it be to gather all the people who support J2 into one room.  Then, during surgery have them all light a candle and let it burn all day and send their prayers and love to her.

So much has changed

So much has changed since I started this blog and never got into it.  

My husband graduated from seminary.

He got a full-time ministry job.

We bought our first house.

We had another baby.

Our baby spent 2 weeks in the hospital hooked to a ventilator.

Our baby has a heart defect.

Any one of these changes is a lot to handle, but ALL of the at once?  Wow.   That's a LOT.  Our baby, June, is now almost 6 weeks old and we're home.  But that doesn't mean that I don't check often when I'm not holding her (which I am doing most of the time anyway) to make sure she is breathing and also that she is not blue.  Because she was breathing when she got put on the ventilator.  

Our 'big' kids as I refer to them, are actually still LITTLE kids.  I have to remember that!  J will be 3 in just a month and R is 5 going on 16.  Oh they are so much fun and have me laughing all day long.  Unless I'm fighting the urge to get really upset at them for blatantly NOT listening to me.  Oh kids.  

But we've said long ago that our goal is not to raise complacent children who follow without question.  YES, I do like my kids to do what I ask them to do.  That'd be just splendid.  But that's not my ultimate goal as a parent.  My ultimate goal is to raise happy and confident children who are well-adjusted.  That's a long road.... and takes a lot more than just punishing someone and teaching them how to follow the rules.  

R- she's awesome.  She taught HERSELF how to read and hasn't stopped reading since.  She LOVES books and stories and playing pretend.  She can be SASSY and she can be "miss thang" but she also has this deeply pondering mind that I just love.  She asks the most complex questions for a 5 year old sometimes.  The other day when I was tucking her into bed she looked at me thoughtfully and said "Mom, how did God create something out of nothing?"  How does one answer a question like that?!  I usually turn it over to my theological husband who is better at that kind of stuff.  She's one of those kids who could teach herself anything that she needs to learn.  If I was into it, I think unschooling would work fabulously for her.  She really schools herself.  People probably think I taught her reading, writing and arithmetic (which she also knows... she begged me to write her addition and subtraction problems on a page for her to do for fun once)... but I surely did not.  She loves gymnastics, which is great because she used to be so afraid of going upside down and swinging high.  She also loves dancing, coloring and doing crafts, and doing very large puzzles (we're talking hundreds of pieces!).  She will spend ALL day in our craft room.   I *love* that it's no longer all over the dining room table!  Yay new house.   

J- very different than R and I *love* seeing the differences between 2 kids being raised exactly the same.  J does not care for letters and writing and that kind of stuff.  He likes LEAPING off of high surfaces.  He likes wearing capes.  He likes being a super hero or a firefighter.  The other day he put on a pretend fire fighter hat and when I asked him to help me clean up toys for the night he said "but fire fighters don't clean up toys!!"  (I made it into a game and he was happy to join in.... my evil mommy plan works again!).  He loves playing with matchbox cars.  He plays with his cars like some people play with dolls.  They talk to each other and go on adventures together.  He loves his older sister FIERCELY.  Even when they are fighting, it doesn't take long for them to be playing together again.  And usually one is upset because the other wants to play alone for a little bit.  "BUT I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU R!!!!"  J is so sensitive to the feelings of himself and others.   Not in a sad way... because he is the biggest bruiser you'll meet.  He usually has at least half a dozen bruises, scrapes or cuts on him at all times and I usually don't hear about them when they happen because he just brushes it off and keeps running/jumping/exploring.  Occasionally if he is REALLY bloody he'll ask for a band-aid.  But he'll be the first one to TELL you when he is grumpy.  When he "just feeling GRUMPY!!!" you'll want to make sure not to look him directly in the eye or ask him any questions.  He just needs his space.  Typical man waking up, right?  I have to try hard to cover my laughing or smiling face when he is bruiting around with his grumpy face or he'll just grump whine at me.  So ridiculously cute.

J2- Our new baby came into the world just magically.  So easy.  My easiest birth (and, actually, my longest birth as well!), even though J1's birth was pretty straightforward and magical as well.... it was short and intense.  She decided she wanted to stay inside me for a good long while too.  She decided she wanted to be born in the caul.  Which means that her water bag never broke and she came out inside of it.  They say that this means that she will have good luck, be blessed, and be intuitive.  I think she has all 3 on her side.  She never really cried when she was born.  She pinked up nicely and was breathing great, but just looking around.  The first time she opened her eyes it was to look at her brother and sister.  And she hasn't stopped looking.  Checking everything out.  During her newborn exam the midwife said she just gazed up at her the whole time.  Taking everything in.  And take it all in she does.   When she was a week and a half old she was taken to Children's hospital and had to be put on a ventilator for some serious pulmonary hypertension as the result of heart defects that had not yet been diagnosed.  She'll need open heart surgery and I just know she has the spunk in her that all us McCoys have.  She'll do great.  I can't wait to see her personality flourish and see how different and how similar she is to her brother and sister.  Who she already knows and loves deeply.... she smiles at them more than she smiles at me.  It warms my heart.  She is such a special girl.

Mama- I've been through a lot lately, but taking every opportunity I can to breathe in my blessings and breathe out anything that doesn't serve me.  I love that visual.  Breathing in the good and breathing out the junk that we all tend to hold onto unnecessarily.  I used to say that a lot in my yoga classes and I'm *sure* once I start teaching again in a few weeks I'll be saying it once again.  It was so lovely to teach yoga until 42 weeks pregnant... I experienced teaching on a whole new deeper level when I was WHERE the mamas were.  I really was able to connect with students and it's so so fun to see them all in baby yoga now... which J2 LOVES and which is SO good for her and her heart!!  Just taking it one moment at  a time and feeling the support and love around me and giving myself grace if my house isn't as clean as it was before J2 or I can't get craft projects together for the big kids like before, or can't take them places....  I'm just happy j1 and r have each other because they get along when I'm just chilling with the babe and for that I am SO grateful.  I like to think they see my heart, wide open for them, and on days when I am not stressed and don't get grumpy at them.... they seem to just play and get along just fine most of the day.  I definitely think parents' moods rub off on their kids.  So I constantly keep mine in check.

That's all for now.  We'll see if I am *actually* back to blogging, or if this was just a passing moment.

Back?

I have the urge to blog again.  Not that I really have time.  BUT I think it will be good for me.  I've been.... distracted lately.  There is a lot going on in my family- a lot of unsureness about the future, a lot of stress, a lot of unknowns and what ifs.  A very easy time to focus on the FUTURE.  BUT- when we focus SO MUCH on the future- worrying, planning, wondering- it takes us out of the PRESENT.  Where we need to be.

It doesn't help that I have not been able to get to yoga as often as I like.  Yes, I *am* a yoga instructor I *could* do yoga on my own.  But lately every seconds of my time is taken up- either working or worrying.  Going back to my old ways, no doubt.

So this post is my way of kicking myself in the booty.  And getting back to the present.  Like I tell my yoga mamas- rest in the stillness of the breath.  

This is ESSENTIAL, especially weeks like this week, and weeks like next week will no doubt be.  My husband is out of town and, well, I don't know HOW single moms do it.  I am exhausted.  And just need a little bit of adult interaction.  And need someone to pass my kids off to so I can pee with the door closed.  Or maybe take a shower without little people attacking each other.  Back to the breath....

Michael Franti is like crack

Well... I guess I don't have any experience with crack, but my kids can both be screaming, whining, and bugging each other like crazy people and as soon as I turn on the song "Say Hey (I love you)" I see the baby start to bob up and down and the preschooler start to bust a move.  I start to dance around the house singing loudly.  Every stress of a morning of grumpies melts away.

Seriously, try it.  It's amazing.  Maybe it's more like magic than crack.  But either way, it's freaking awesome.

Not ashamed to say I put it on repeat some mornings.  (much to the dismay of my husband who says I listen to the same songs over and over... and over).