complementary therapies

When I found out our daughter had a heart defect that would require open heart surgery, I immediately started researching natural complementary treatment options for my sweet babe.  Obviously I am forever grateful for the advances in medicine which will hopefully allow J2 to grow into a lovely adult and die at a a ripe old age.  I am grateful for the drugs that she needs.  Grateful for open heart surgery.

I am one of those weird people (or more like, awesome people) who believe in the power of alternative therapies.  Of the spiritual.  Of the spiritual energy of the body.  The power of good nutrition.  All that jazz.  So I want to set J2 up for success as much as I can through alternative therapies.  Even if it costs a lot and darn insurance companies haven't realized how awesome it would be to cover these therapies.

So, here are some of the things we are doing.

1. Cranial Sacral Therapy

I got it done a few times during pregnancy by my chiropractor and now I am having J2 get it.  And- wow! I wish I would've had all my kids get it as babies.  She is much less fussy when she's worked on in this way.  Sleeps better.  And I really feel like it helps her overcome the trauma of being in the hospital on a ventilator.  We did it a few times in a row upon coming home from the hospital, and now we're slowing down a bit and then right before and after surgery we'll ramp it up again.   The therapist gave me some stuff I can do at home with her, so that's been really great!

2. Chiropractic care

Okay, so I haven't actually gotten around to this yet, but I am a strong believer in chiropractic care and had it all throughout pregnancy and need to get J2 in SOON for some adjustments.  I've honestly just been too busy with all her other appointments.

3. Traditional Chinese Medicine--- Acupuncture

I found an awesome Acupuncturist group who work specifically on children.  We'll be trying this out before surgery.  I will let you know what i think.  Did you know acupuncture can even flip breech babies?  I obviously know a lot more about this stuff as it relates to pregnancy and birth, but it's pretty powerful stuff so I think it can help send some healing energy to her little heart as well!!

4. Essential Oils

I am a huge essential oil fan.  I use them for everything and use at least a few every day.  I've been researching which oils to use on J2 now, and which ones to use on her prior to and after surgery for emotional care and also to put on her scar.  I diffused a calming oil blend in her room during our hospital stay and that same oil I've been massaging on her frequently and will probably bring it to her for post surgery.  I think it'll be good to have it be one she remembers as calming that reminds her of that special time of massage we have together.  I think diffusing oils in her room is great for ME too.... as a stressed out and worried heart baby mama!!  I use them to try to keep us all from getting sick too... because a virus would NOT be good for a little baby with a sick heart!!

5. Naturopathic medicine

We have our first naturopath appointment in a few weeks.  I will let you know what I think.  I assume since I am breastfeeding they are going to give me supplements for ME to take for her to get through me.  I've been taking stuff like probiotics and drinking some herbal infusions since she was on some pretty heavy meds including antibiotics and I want to rebuild her good gut flora.

6. Baby yoga!

I am a yoga instructor and so I know the huge benefits of yoga, but I never thought I'd love baby yoga so much!!  I wish I could go every day.  It's the one time of the day that I don't feel SO overly stressed with the weight of worry for my sick baby.  I connect with my baby and I connect with other mamas and I get onto my mat and do a few exercises for myself as well.  Deep sigh.  The other day I sat next to another heart mama and her heart baby!! And a NICU nurse at the hospital we were and will be at was across the room from us!  So cool to connect and talk about the stuff we're both going through.  Also, some of the exercises we do on baby are the SAME ones that the cranial sacral therapist recommended I do!!  So it's perfect!  We plan to go at least once a week until she's too old for it.

7.  Healing touch

Healing touch has been PROVEN scientifically to be effective.  They have Reiki and healing touch certified people employed at hospitals even!  We don't have the money to actually go see someone for this, but I've been using my own healing touch on J2.  I have been through an intro training on this and understand the energy of the body and how it all works, so we've been playing with healing touch and I plan to continue and bring this to surgery day and post-op for SURE.  R likes to rub her hands together and then place her hands just above J2s heart and say "sending you ALL the love"  it's really sweet.  I guess she GETS healing touch!  It's fun to see.

8.  Use of others

I don't know why I thought of this 8th, but we've been REALLY utilizing others prayers and sending of love and light to us!!  I hope to get together a prayer/healing circle for J2 right before her surgery.  Maybe have her in the middle of a big circle with everyone sending her prayers and healing light for her to bring with her into her surgery.  The yoga studio I work at did something similar to this during a staff meeting while I was in the hospital with J2 and it was powerful!  So how awesome would it be to gather all the people who support J2 into one room.  Then, during surgery have them all light a candle and let it burn all day and send their prayers and love to her.

So much has changed

So much has changed since I started this blog and never got into it.  

My husband graduated from seminary.

He got a full-time ministry job.

We bought our first house.

We had another baby.

Our baby spent 2 weeks in the hospital hooked to a ventilator.

Our baby has a heart defect.

Any one of these changes is a lot to handle, but ALL of the at once?  Wow.   That's a LOT.  Our baby, June, is now almost 6 weeks old and we're home.  But that doesn't mean that I don't check often when I'm not holding her (which I am doing most of the time anyway) to make sure she is breathing and also that she is not blue.  Because she was breathing when she got put on the ventilator.  

Our 'big' kids as I refer to them, are actually still LITTLE kids.  I have to remember that!  J will be 3 in just a month and R is 5 going on 16.  Oh they are so much fun and have me laughing all day long.  Unless I'm fighting the urge to get really upset at them for blatantly NOT listening to me.  Oh kids.  

But we've said long ago that our goal is not to raise complacent children who follow without question.  YES, I do like my kids to do what I ask them to do.  That'd be just splendid.  But that's not my ultimate goal as a parent.  My ultimate goal is to raise happy and confident children who are well-adjusted.  That's a long road.... and takes a lot more than just punishing someone and teaching them how to follow the rules.  

R- she's awesome.  She taught HERSELF how to read and hasn't stopped reading since.  She LOVES books and stories and playing pretend.  She can be SASSY and she can be "miss thang" but she also has this deeply pondering mind that I just love.  She asks the most complex questions for a 5 year old sometimes.  The other day when I was tucking her into bed she looked at me thoughtfully and said "Mom, how did God create something out of nothing?"  How does one answer a question like that?!  I usually turn it over to my theological husband who is better at that kind of stuff.  She's one of those kids who could teach herself anything that she needs to learn.  If I was into it, I think unschooling would work fabulously for her.  She really schools herself.  People probably think I taught her reading, writing and arithmetic (which she also knows... she begged me to write her addition and subtraction problems on a page for her to do for fun once)... but I surely did not.  She loves gymnastics, which is great because she used to be so afraid of going upside down and swinging high.  She also loves dancing, coloring and doing crafts, and doing very large puzzles (we're talking hundreds of pieces!).  She will spend ALL day in our craft room.   I *love* that it's no longer all over the dining room table!  Yay new house.   

J- very different than R and I *love* seeing the differences between 2 kids being raised exactly the same.  J does not care for letters and writing and that kind of stuff.  He likes LEAPING off of high surfaces.  He likes wearing capes.  He likes being a super hero or a firefighter.  The other day he put on a pretend fire fighter hat and when I asked him to help me clean up toys for the night he said "but fire fighters don't clean up toys!!"  (I made it into a game and he was happy to join in.... my evil mommy plan works again!).  He loves playing with matchbox cars.  He plays with his cars like some people play with dolls.  They talk to each other and go on adventures together.  He loves his older sister FIERCELY.  Even when they are fighting, it doesn't take long for them to be playing together again.  And usually one is upset because the other wants to play alone for a little bit.  "BUT I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU R!!!!"  J is so sensitive to the feelings of himself and others.   Not in a sad way... because he is the biggest bruiser you'll meet.  He usually has at least half a dozen bruises, scrapes or cuts on him at all times and I usually don't hear about them when they happen because he just brushes it off and keeps running/jumping/exploring.  Occasionally if he is REALLY bloody he'll ask for a band-aid.  But he'll be the first one to TELL you when he is grumpy.  When he "just feeling GRUMPY!!!" you'll want to make sure not to look him directly in the eye or ask him any questions.  He just needs his space.  Typical man waking up, right?  I have to try hard to cover my laughing or smiling face when he is bruiting around with his grumpy face or he'll just grump whine at me.  So ridiculously cute.

J2- Our new baby came into the world just magically.  So easy.  My easiest birth (and, actually, my longest birth as well!), even though J1's birth was pretty straightforward and magical as well.... it was short and intense.  She decided she wanted to stay inside me for a good long while too.  She decided she wanted to be born in the caul.  Which means that her water bag never broke and she came out inside of it.  They say that this means that she will have good luck, be blessed, and be intuitive.  I think she has all 3 on her side.  She never really cried when she was born.  She pinked up nicely and was breathing great, but just looking around.  The first time she opened her eyes it was to look at her brother and sister.  And she hasn't stopped looking.  Checking everything out.  During her newborn exam the midwife said she just gazed up at her the whole time.  Taking everything in.  And take it all in she does.   When she was a week and a half old she was taken to Children's hospital and had to be put on a ventilator for some serious pulmonary hypertension as the result of heart defects that had not yet been diagnosed.  She'll need open heart surgery and I just know she has the spunk in her that all us McCoys have.  She'll do great.  I can't wait to see her personality flourish and see how different and how similar she is to her brother and sister.  Who she already knows and loves deeply.... she smiles at them more than she smiles at me.  It warms my heart.  She is such a special girl.

Mama- I've been through a lot lately, but taking every opportunity I can to breathe in my blessings and breathe out anything that doesn't serve me.  I love that visual.  Breathing in the good and breathing out the junk that we all tend to hold onto unnecessarily.  I used to say that a lot in my yoga classes and I'm *sure* once I start teaching again in a few weeks I'll be saying it once again.  It was so lovely to teach yoga until 42 weeks pregnant... I experienced teaching on a whole new deeper level when I was WHERE the mamas were.  I really was able to connect with students and it's so so fun to see them all in baby yoga now... which J2 LOVES and which is SO good for her and her heart!!  Just taking it one moment at  a time and feeling the support and love around me and giving myself grace if my house isn't as clean as it was before J2 or I can't get craft projects together for the big kids like before, or can't take them places....  I'm just happy j1 and r have each other because they get along when I'm just chilling with the babe and for that I am SO grateful.  I like to think they see my heart, wide open for them, and on days when I am not stressed and don't get grumpy at them.... they seem to just play and get along just fine most of the day.  I definitely think parents' moods rub off on their kids.  So I constantly keep mine in check.

That's all for now.  We'll see if I am *actually* back to blogging, or if this was just a passing moment.