I always try to be a blogger and I always fail miserably. I have been keeping caringbridge updated, so if you want to read June's journey through open heart surgery you can check it out at www.caringbridge.com/visit/junemccoy We've had quite the journey!! I know that I've learned so much through it and that I think that Matt and I both saw just how strong we really are. People always would/do say that they could never be as strong as we were/are. But, honestly? When you have some crazy to go through like open heart surgery on your infant, you just do what you have to do. You don't really have a choice. I am, still, proud of us and all we've been through and how well we are doing despite our pretty challenging year!
People keep telling me that I should write a blog, but the problem is that I don't know exactly what to write about. I could write all about birthy stuff, but most of the (amazing!!) birth stories are private and confidential. I could write about parenting.... but who am I to tell YOU how I think you should raise your kids? I'm just a mom trying to figure out how to screw my kids up the least amount possible so their therapy bills aren't TOO ridiculously high. Or maybe I could write about.... our random every day? That seems rather boring and not something *I* would want to read. Maybe I'll make the blog about "what should I write a blog about." And every post can be like this one, me asking what I should write about. Ha! Or not.
I suppose I need to stick with the main intent of this blog... about remaining present through this journey. In yoga I talk about this sometimes. About how we need to remain in the moment. It's so easy to look forward and to look behind, but to truly SAVOR every moment. That takes intention and practice. I don't always get it right. But it is something that I strive for.
Last week I got to witness two AMAZING women welcome their babies into the spinning world. I got to see THREE babies (yes... two women, three babies) take their first breaths. I got to see the look in dad's eyes when he met his baby or babies for the first time. I got to witness miracles. Two women, transformed. Forever changed. Never as they were before. It's easy to remain present during those moments. I drive home from those moments, at 4am in a snow storm, perhaps. And I just smile and tears well up in my eyes. I see other people driving by and think to myself "they do not know that a miracle just occured!" It's like the whole world needs to stand still to behold those moments. But what about the other moments? What about the "normal" day to day moments? Take today: My 3 year old climbed into bed next to me in the middle of the night, the 5 year old had a nightmare, the baby was restless and needed to nurse a few times overnight. It's easy to feel frustrated about being sandwiched between two kids in bed. But I've learned to ENJOY it. I'm going to miss these kids when they are grown. I love the unconditional love of a three year old.... so safe next to his mommy. He doesn't often climb into bed with me so it is always a rare treat. Even if he started wiggling and I *knew* I had to get up and take him to the bathroom before he peed all over me *wink*
Until next time.... hopefully it's not 6 months from now. I really am going to try to make this blog part of my routine. Though I'm not going to let anyone know it's here until I actually start regularly updating :-) But you are welcome to read if you want.
xoxo,
Lindsay
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